Some say Battleship Rose was a vagabond who travelled up and down
the California coast, riding the rails and performing amazing feats of prestidigitation
(sleight of hand, or misdirection).

Some say Battleship Rose was a notorious womanizer, who
seduced hundreds of women all over the West in an attempt
to assuage the feelings of inferiority he harbored since childhood,
when he was teased without mercy for having a girl's name.

Some legends describe Battleship Rose as a muse,
or a musical savant who knew the language of birds
and could hold lengthy conversations with them in song.

But I happen to know that he never existed.
Battleship Rose is nothing more than the name of a paint color
in an Indian restaurant on Fillmore Street in San Francisco.